Lake Superior Brewing Company's Sir Duluth Oatmeal Stout

I don't even remember where or when I got this. Which may not be a good sign, but we'll see.

Pours an opaque black that is amber to clear at the edges. Looks a little light in the body. Very small tan head that is pretty small for a stout, much less one with oatmeal. Nice smell to it though. Lots of tannins, like a porter, and some very subtle coffee, but mostly alcohol.

Smooth, like an oatmeal stout should be, but still a lot of alcohol. And that's weird, for a standard stout. It diminishes fairly quickly though, and gives way to a nice roasted coffee flavor.

Good beer that I bet is really good on tap. The alcohol bite bothers me, but I'm chalking it up tot he age of the beer, which is my fault. I need to drink more.

Descheutes Brewery's The Abyss 2010 Reserve

Alright--brewer's licorice (is there such a thing?), black strap molasses, cherry bark and vanilla beans aged in oak barrels has all the hallmarks of trying too hard. But I've liked everything this brewery has ever done, so I'm keeping an open mind.

Pours an inky brownish black with a solid dark tan head. Smells deep and grainy, with oak.

Good body, although I expected bigger. Maybe it's all the hype. Very good beer though. The oak is there, but I like that only a third of it is aged in oak because it keeps it in check. The licorice is there, and the molasses in the aftertaste. 11% ABV? Not a hint of that. Very well hidden, which is something a lot more beers need to do. Says best after 11/15/11, so I'll have to go get some more and hold it for a while.

Snake River Brewing Company's Zonker Stout

I've had this beer for at least a year and a half, which has to be past its date. I'm betting it's big enough to age well though.

Pours an inky brownish black with a nice dark tan head. No sign of aging poorly there. Still smells pretty grainy and robust, too.

Feels a little light compared to the appearance and smell though. It still has plenty of taste, and it hasn't lost any zip because it still has a fair amount of carbonation for a stout, but it just tastes lighter than everything else would indicate. It's a good straight up stout, that looks like a much heavier beer.

Brew Dog Brewery's Toklo

Brew Dog Toklo? I think thtat's what the label says. I hate this brewery though. Stout with cranberries and jasmine? Dumb. 18.2% ABV? Even dumber.

Pours like a standard stout--not as opaque as an RIS. Nice head though. Can't smell much but alcohol. Amateurish. Slight roasted grain smell, but not much. Tastes awful. Like rubbing alcohol with some grain in it. Too bad too, because the aftertaste is pretty nice. Like it would have been a good beer if they hadn't used champagne yeast or whatever it was that got them such a high ABV. Idiots.

Bell's Brewery's Java Stout

Pours a deep black, with a great deep brown head. Fair amount of roasted coffee and grain in the smell. I'm hoping it's as good as Founder's Breakfast Stout, and so far it's headed that way.

Pretty nice. Strong roasted grain in the taste, with a good coffee aftertaste. Smooth, almost like a milk stout, but not quite. Wish it had a bit more carbonation, but other than that this is a pretty fantastic beer. Almost got to Founder's, but that one is hard to beat.

Bell's Brewery's Special Double Cream Stout

Pours a blackish brown, with a dark tan head. Roasted grain smell, but with the edge taken off of it.

You can definitely feel the lactose, but you can't really taste it. And I like that better than those that throw the sweetness at you with no improvement in the body (I'm looking at you, Left Hand). Very nice beer. It has the feel of a smooth imperial, with a laid back stout taste.

Millstream Brewing Company's Colony Oatmeal Stout

Stout.... lager?

Pours an opaque black with a fairly light tan head for a stout. Fairly light smell for a stout too. Not sure of that's the oatmeal, which always seems to give stouts a lighter and sweeter smell, or the fact that it's a lager.

Pretty nice. Probably one of the heaviest lagers I've felt, it's similar to a dopplebock in feel. But it's a stout in the taste. Pretty strong coffee flavor in this one, especially in the aftertaste, which is very nice.

Good take on the style, and a very good beer.

August Schell Brewing Company's Schell's Stout

I've had several assorted stouts waiting in the beer cellar (which has now moved from the kitchen cabinets to the bedroom closet) for quite some time. I'm not sure why, but I've been keeping an eye on this one in particular.

Pours an opaque brownish black with a nice tan head despite a very slow pour.

Great, solid smell to it. Lots of roasted grain, but also something sweet. Almost like a milk stout. Maybe a Snicker bar. (I might be a little drunk already.)

Yeah, I would totally have called this a milk stout in a blind tasting. Very smooth and slightly sweet feel and taste. Plenty of roasted grain taste that every stout should have as well, but slightly silky like lactose does.

Nice beer. Fairly substantial for a standard stout.

Ridgway Brewing's Foreign Export Stout

I must confess my ignorance as to what make a stout one that is foreign and to be exported. If it's foreign, wouldn't you haves to import it? And aren't all exports to foreign places? I don't know.

What I do know is that it pours a nice, almost completely opaque black with a good tan head that sticks. And that it smells grainy and substantial.

Tastes the same. It's straightforward, with a solid roasted grain that keeps its grainy taste and has a limited amount of the other chocolate or coffee tastes or smoothness that lactose can impart. Simple.

Great beer. Glad I picked up one of every Ridgway beer I saw.

Harpoon Brewery's 100 Barrel Series Island Creek Oyster Stout

Pours like a straight stout. Opaque in the glass, but amber highlights as it pours. Great dark tan head that stays for good.

Smells great too. Big roasted and chocolate flavors, backed by a solid and grainy smell.

Medium body with moderate bitterness, its primary flavor is the roasted grain.

This would make a great imperial, if it had more body, but as a stout it's excellent. I'm starting to like Harpoon more and more.

Tallgrass Brewing Company's Buffalo Sweat

Alright--back from another round of illness, but ready to go. I do have some catching up to do, mostly with parks, but while I get started on some of that I'm going to have this beer. I thought it was going to be a brown, but it's a stout, so it's already looking up.

Pours an opaque blackish brown with a better than average dark tan head.

Nice smell. A bit harsh and grainy, with a nice chocolate smell hidden way under there somewhere.

Odd taste. Has all of the above characteristics, plus a mild bitterness, but probably the closest analogy would be that this tastes like a Belgian stout. It has that odd yeast taste of many Belgians that I'm not very fond of. Feels a bit like a milk stout, with that forced smoothness that lactose can give a beer.

This is about par for a Tallgrass beer, not great, but not really that bad either.

Independence Brewing Company's Convict Hill Oatmeal Stout

Finally, another Texas stout.

Pours an opaque black with reddish highlights as it pours and a nice dark tan head.

The oatmeal lends a great grainy smell to the roasted and coffee flavors.

It feels like it's going to have a nice body at first, but then it gets a bit watery. Very nice taste though. Still grainy from the oatmeal, and the coffee comes out a bit more in the taste.

Not quite enough body for an oatmeal stout, but otherwise a very good beer. I hope they keep it around.

Sierra Nevada Brewing Company's Sierra 30th Anniversary Fritz and Ken's Ale

I like this one already. This is my favorite brewery that knows how to stay close to home despite selling a ton of beer (I'm looking at you, Sam Adams). The second I popped the cork I could already smell it.

Pours opaque and black with a great, small celled dark tan head that is as big as you want to pour it.

Nice, mellow roasted smell. Not really coffee, more like a slight bit of cocoa.

Pretty much perfect. Nice and smooth, it has the body of a heavy milk stout without the lactose taste. Still the hint of cocoa, and not a hint of the 9.2% ABV. Which, by the way, is exactly how to do it. All of the chumps at BrewDog could really learn from this beer. Stop following Stone (they're not worth copying, anyway), and start making great beers that focus more on being beer than a pissing contest. Just like this one.

Boston Brewing Company's Cream Stout

Well, it's early enough in the day to wash my mouth out thoroughly, so I figured I'd try this one from Sam Adams. This is where my compulsion to try every stout I see bites me in the ass.

Although it's fairly opaque in the glass, it pours kind of watery for a stout. Looks like a bock, almost, especially if any light shines on the glass. Thin tan head just kind of sits there.

Smells as much like a pale as it does a stout. Not roasted enough, and too hoppy. Also too lightly grainy.

Taste is much the same. The usual stout flavors are only in the aftertaste, and the feel is watery. Weak, all around.

If Budweiser made a stout, this is what it would taste like. No, Budweiser actually does a good job at what they do--they unabashedly make wimpy, light beers. Sam Adams pretends to be a craft brewer while making wimpy, light beers. The difference is huge.

Sure, I have a built-in bias against Sam Adams, so I'll be objective here: this beer sucks.

Laguinitas Brewing Company's Cappucino Stout

Another coffee stout. Must... buy...

Pours a deep back with a nice tan head that stays well. I'm pouring it in a hefe glass because everything else is dirty, so at its thinnest point in the glass you can see strong carbonation and brownish amber highlights.

Mild roasted grain smell and mild coffee as well. It has a lactose softness to it that makes it really seem like more of a cappucino than a coffee stout, one of the rare times the names really fits.

Nice, smooth feel that feels like lactose, and the sweetness is there underneath. The roasted grain flavor really picks up in the taste, with moderate coffee flavor as well. The 9.26% ABV is absolutely imperceptible, something most "extreme" beer makers can never get right.

By far this is the best Lagunitas beer I've ever had, and is an excellent one all around.

Snake River Brewing Company's Zonker Stout

I have no idea where I got this beer. But it's one of about 45 that are in the cellar that I've never tried, adn I thought it would be good to follow the barleywine I just had with a big beer like a stout.

Pours an opaque black with a nice light tan head. Looks right.

Nice roasted smell, with a tobacco undertone that I like every time I smell it in a stout. This is looking up.

Good feel to it. Not really heavy, and the carbonation keeps it light as it goes down. Roasted taste picks up and is prevalent. Fades to the tobacco taste a bit, but mostly it's still roasted grain. Mild hoppiness that gets you on the back of the tongue but never comes out in the taste.

Good stout. Nothing sexy in any category, but solid and drinkable.

Southern Star Brewing Company's Buried Hatchet Stout

Sweet, I've been looking forward to this one. I'm lame and never get out to good beer bars, so I was glad to see it in cans at Spec's. I've often bemoaned the lack of a year-round stout in Texas that was readily available, so this will give Southern Star a leg up over St. A's in Houston in this category. At least until St. A's decides to make theirs year-round, which I hope they do.

This one pours deep black with a hint of brown, with a nice small-celled head. It pours soft, smooth.

Smells very nice. Deeper and more substantial than a standard stout, it has a fairly heavy roasted coffee smell. Nice malt to it, but overall the coffee stands out.

The feel is a little lighter than the appearance would indicate, more in like with a standard stout. Moderate bitterness that still doesn't compete with the roasted coffee taste except in the aftertaste, where the roasted coffee and grain flavors fade off quickly.

Very good beer. I'll have to try it on draft, I bet it picks up even more.

Ridgeway Brewing's Lump of Coal Dark Holiday Stout

Dark? We'll see about that. I'm hoping for a stout that's maybe somewhere close to an RIS, or at least bigger than most straight-up stouts (I'm looking at you, Guinness).

Nope. During the pour is looks like little more than a rauchbier. It's dark, but you can see right through it. It's opaque in the glass though. Thin light tan head that thins further to a collar even faster. Low carbonation is visible at the edges, helping the head evaporate.

Alcohol. That's the first thing I smell here. Once the head is completely gone that fades to a very vinous deep fruit smell, much like a porter.

Wow, it's like a merlot, without all of the vinegar. The alcohol bite, odd for a beer with only 8% ABV, makes up some of that difference though. So, maybe a strong burgundy? I'm a closeted wine drinker (hell, I can't even tell my friends I drink so many different beers), so I can stand to drink this, but it's a weird beer. It also has a strange feel to it like a flat Coke and has more of a twang than any bitterness. Roasted grain comes out next, mostly in the aftertaste after the wine and twang are gone.

I was thinking about buying Ridgeway's Bad Elf series of beers, but not any more. I'll also skip this one in the future.

Rogue Brewing Company's Chocolate Stout

If you have someone you're trying to introduce to good beer, but aren't quite sure which way to go, try this one.

Pours deep, opaque black with a big brown head that stays well with good carbonation.

Obvious chocolate smell. This is not the chocolate you get from roasting the barley a certain way, like Brooklyn's Black Chocolate Stout (which is also a very good beer). It tastes like sweeter chocolate, and has an obvious cocoa taste. It's not over the top though, like Young's Double Chocolate Stout (which is not a good beer), and strikes a good balance between the desire for a chocolate taste but still having some semblance of beer flavor to it. Young's is like drinking a chocolate cake. Brooklyn's is like drinking beer with deep, unsweetened, dark chocolate. This is more like beer with a sweeter chocolate, but still beer. No discernible hops flavor, but the bitterness comes out a bit in the aftertaste. Great, smooth feel to it, because the cocoa gives the feel of lactose, without that cold lactose taste.

It makes a great dessert beer. It was the first of many I had, because I was starting someone off slowly on about a dozen beers that were strong ales or heavier, but I'll have to keep some around just in case I ever get to have more than beer for dessert.

The Saint Louis Brewing Company's Schlafly Brand Coffee Stout

I've seen a few Schlafly beers pop up in Houston, but not this one or I think I would have bought it. Always up for a new stout.

Pours a brownish black. Fairly opaque, but as it pours it appears to have the average stout body to it. Nice head, even if it is a little on the light side color-wise.

No real coffee smell to it, instead it smells more like a milk stout. It has that sweetness that lactose can impart. If you try hard, you may be able to pick up a deep roasted bitterness that may come from coffee. It's faint though, at least while the beer is cold.

Nice. Surprising, even. It has a good solid body to it and a smoothness that again feels like a milk stout, but the lactose smell isn't present in the taste. The coffee really isn't either, but it's there a little bit. Fairly high level of bitterness for a stout. Nowhere close to Storm King, but quite a bit more than your average stout.

Very good beer. Hint of coffee. Just a hint. But nice feel and taste, even if it could do more in the coffee department.