Joseph James Brewing Company's Alpine Wit

Same as the last post, too many witbiers.

This one pours a dull orangey brownish, like an juice sauce with no preservatives that's starting to turn because it's been out of the fridge too long. No head. At all. Is this even a beer? An average of one carbonation bubble every second. Maybe. Not good.

Almost no smell, but what very little there is smells like the chemical/plastic smell that I've become accustomed to in this style.

Well, it has more taste than smell, and is low in the plastic taste, but high in adjunct grains as well. Feels dead. Tastes flat. I hope it's just out of date. If this is how they make their beers on purpose, they'll be out of business soon.

Millstream Brewing Company's John's Grocery Generations White Ale

I realize that there's a bit of a scramble to find beers that are light enough to appeal to the average beer drinker, different enough to stand out, and still have enough flavor to pass as a craft beer. But enough with the Belgian Witbiers, already.

This one looks like they almost all do--cloudy yellow with an orange-ish haze and a crisp white head. The head on this one is actually bigger than most, but still fades quickly to a collar. Better carbonation than most, it appears as well.

Right off the bat there's that odd, flat, smell that in many wits is a strong chemical smell. It's what a lot of people call "banana and cloves" because Michael Jackson no doubt said it about a wit at one time, and now everyone thinks they're supposed to use that description with this style. I have yet to really feel it to be accurate, and this one has no cloves, but I'll be damned if it doesn't smell like rotten bananas at first. That subsides a bit and gives way to the chemical smell that I see more often. I guess this particular combination will always hit me in a certain way. Kind of like how some people are genetically averse to cilantro (tastes like freezer burn to me), this combination of malt and spice will always smell like the chemical smells that are given off by new plastic.

Oddly enough, it tastes better than most wits to me. I'm surprised. Still has the banana, but it's maltier than most wits. It has a bitterness that seems to come from adjunct grains, more specifically a rice zip and aftertaste that remind me of Budweiser. The aftertaste is scarily similar to Budweiser.

Eh. If I had to choose a wit this would be the one. But I'll pass on the others that I have. Still, I'm glad to have had it and I'm very much looking forward to their stout lager.

Rogue Brewing Company's Irish Style Lager

Alright, I like Rogue a great deal, but they shouldn't go just making up style names. What the hell is an Irish style anything unless it's red or stout?

Pours like a typical lager of any country. Deeper yellow than most, but the fizzy white head is the same. Carbonation is lower than most. Same bland smell, except a little more malty. Not as adjunct-y.

You know, I wish it had more rice. I like the bitter twang it gives Budweiser. This is a good beer, and it has a heavier body than American lagers, but I expected it to be a little zippier. If the made-up style of Irish Lager is supposed to be slower, flatter, and less zippy than an American, then it's right on type. As un-sexy as American lagers are, this one is even un-sexy-er.

Stone Brewing Company's Russian Imperial Stout Spring 2009

I don't really like this brewery. All that "you're not worthy" bullshit sounds like a bunch of douchebag beer fags who think that the only part of a beer that matters is the hops. They're stupid, but have plenty of douchebag faggoty fanboys who are right there with them, because they also think that the more bitter a beer is, no matter how out of style or imbalanced, the better it is.

But on this one, they showed some restraint.

Pours a fully opaque black with a big deep coffee brown head that fades slowly, but steadily. Great smooth smell, with a bit of a sharp alcohol tinge to it. Roasted malt with a slightly sweet chocolate smell underneath.

Great smooth feel to it. Silky, even, due to the substantial body and good carbonation. Substantial roasted malt flavor and the chocolate taste lingers as long as the bitterness to maintain the sweetness that balances out any bitterness. Overall a well balanced beer, without the hops pissing match.

Spoetzel Brewery's Shiner Smokehouse

Had no idea Shiner was brewing a Rauchbier, and damn if I've ever seen a Helles variant. I'm assured that it's normal, but it seems to be at odds with the style, to me.

Poured just like a Helles should, clear and crisp with a fizzy white head that fades fairly quickly.

Very slight malt smell, mostly smokey. That's just about it.

Tastes the same. Not the most egregious smoke flavor, but it's obvious and I guess what the brewer intended. Not really mesquite flavored, it just seems like more Liquid Smoke in a beer, which is what most smoked beers taste like. Seems like it would be better as a Starkbier, because these styles simply don't seem to match to me.

Weird.

Victory Brewing's Golden Monkey

Well, I'm not liking many Belgians anymore, and I fairly despise Victory, but I had a chance to make a mixed sixer that included this and figuring this would be the least money I ever had to spend to try what is sure to be a craptastic beer, I bought one.

Pours fine. Tripel is fairly to do in appearance, and this one pours a cloudy slightly orange color with a very white, if thin, head. Has aan odd neon glow to it.

Slight citrus twang sneaks through the odd burned chemical smell. It's also on type, even though I don't like it. I'm wondering why this isn't perceptively over-hopped yet, as Victory seems to think every style should be.

I have to hand it to them. Although I don't like this beer, it's within the type and I guess they must still be suffering a hop shortage in Pennsylvania because they managed not to foul it up by not over-hopping it.

Still don't like Belgians.

10/18/2010 UPDATE:

Begrudgingly, I liked this one today.

Brooklyn Brewery's East India Pale Ale

Alright, not sure if I can tell East Indian pale ale from West Indian, but let's see how it goes/

Pours a decent, if a bit light, coppery amber with a decent small celled head and moderate carbonation. Good grassy and bready smell.

Taste is much better than I expected from the appearance. Strong bitter hops up front, still backed up with a heavier body than I thought it would have based on how clear it is. Much better than the appearance would imply.

Quilmes

Argentina? We'll see, I guess.

Pours a perfectly clear golden yellow, with a small-ish white head. decent carbonation, but it seems kind of slow. Smells like it'll be a German Pilsner, even though the label is silent on style. Has the funky pils smell, but it's also fairly malty and poured a bit slow and oily, so it's not looking like a more crisp Czech version.

Kind of what I'd expect if Budweiser made a pilsner. It's actually more crisp than I expected, but lighter in the taste than I expected as well. Almost like a Euro Golden, but S. America's brewing traditions are more German and more traditional so I'm sticking with pils. All in all not too bad. I've definitely had worse, but it's fairly bland for the style and has a hint of adjunct grains giving the bitterness a bit of cardboard taste as opposed to hops.

Nothing to look for, but nothing to avoid.

Santa Fe Brewing Company's State Pen Porter

Not quite as tacky a label as the Pale Ale, but still oddly simplistic in a bad way.

Also like the pale, it looks better than expected. As opaque as many stouts, with a fairly light tan head.

Smells very good as well. None of the vinegary aspects of a wine, but slightly vinous like a porter should be. No noticeable hops, and more of a grainy malt smell than bready, a bit raw.

More vinous in the taste. The first hit even has a hint of vinegar. It calms, or you get used to it, I guess, and the standard roasted malt and slight bitterness come out a little more.

Good porter. Nice and solid. It's not a sexy style, meaning this is not a sexy beer, but I like the style and this is a good example.