San Miguel Brewery's Red Horse Beer

In searching my past beers, I see I've already had one from the Philippines, which surprises the hell out of me.

This one pours a very clear yellow with a pretty nice white head. I'm going to call it a pilsner already, because the head is throwing off that pilsner funk. Seems kind of sweet, so I'm going with German.

No, it's too crisp for a German. So I'm switching to Czech. It's not as crisp as a Czechvar or something similar, but it's not nearly malty enough for a German. If not for a fairly strong adjunct grain harshness, it would be a very nice beer. As it is, it's just middle of the road. Better than an American macro, but that's not saying too much.

Primo Brewing and Malting Company's Bombucha

Not so sure about Hawaiian beers.

This one pours a medium amber, but has a great light tan head. Man, the head throws off a great crisp pilsner smell. And I mean, huge. It's crisp and not very sweet, so it must be more of a Czech than a German.

Very nice. Spot on for a Czech, and a very light and drinkable beer. Every time I run across one of these I'm reminded that you don't have to be one of those asshats at Stone or Victory to make great beers. And although this is an unlikely one, it's still very good.

Thomas Creek Brewery's Dockside Pilsner

Pours a light orangish-yellow, with a nice fizzy white head that stays surprisingly well, especially considering how old this beer has to be.

Sweet malty smell to it, which should make it a German. It has the right hops hit to it as well.

Very nice. Definitely a German pils, because it's maltier and smoother than a Czech. Still light and drinkable though, with a clean finish and feel.

Very good beer.

Estrella Damm

Another single that I had to pick up.

Pours a clear yellow with a fizzy white head. Like a lot of European lagers, it seems to be a pilsner. And from the funky smell, a Czech at that.

Light bodied--too light for a German pils. Nice and crisp, but a little more dull than a Czech Rebel. A little more watered down. Good beer for what it is, but not a great beer for the style.

Productura la Florida's Imperial

It's not labeled as such, but this one os clearly a pilsner--and I'm going to say a Czech instead of a German, since it's not very malty.

Pours a clear deep yellow to amber with a huge tan head.

The smell gives it right away. It has the perfect skunk's ass smell that a pilsner should have. Very floral.

Great taste as well. This is a very good pilsner, which is surprising from Costa Rica. I doubt I'll go back to it, but if I see it around I just might.

Dutch Crown's Dutch Lager

My compulsion to buy singles has struck again. The key here: low expectations. I'm sure it has a brewery name, but I can't find it on the label. Kind of a generic Euro lager. It says it's a "Dutch Pilsner," whatever that is, although I like pilsners so it should be at least passable.

Mild in smell. The pilsner funk is in there, with a sweetness that European lagers all seem to have.

It's basically two beers competing if you ask me. A harsh Euro lager and the pilsner, with the harshness winning out. More like spoiling the pilsner taste, I guess. Not a good beer, and I'm glad it's out of the way.

Tallgrass Brewing Company's Kold

I'm a victim of my curiosity sometimes. And my compulsion to try at least one of everything I haven't had before. So even though I have been less than impressed with Tallgrass beers, I had to buy this one. (But only one.)

Pours fairly light yellow, although not as clear as a Budweiser, with strong carbonation and a bright white head that thins but stays.

The label says pilsner malt with notes of honey and citrus, so I labeled it as a pilsner. Smells like a good Czech variety, because it's less malty than a German, and more zippy.

Yep. There's a rough, cardboard bitterness in there somewhere, but it's right on type for a Czech pils. It has the funky bitterness that it needs, and a light body that goes down nicely. I don't know about the citrus, but the honey is there and makes it dry quickly. Kind of tastes like a funky honey wheat.

I like it. It's a decent twist on a pils, and in my opinion their best so far.

Mythos Brewing's Mythos Hellenic Lager

When at a Greek restaurant, do as the Greeks do, right? Not anymore I won't.

No idea how this one pours, since I had it straight from the bottle. And I'm not sure what I was expecting, but I classify this one as a pilsner. But it may be within the type for a Euro Golden as well, it was difficult to pin it down. It had the moderate bitterness and sweet malt that both types have, but I got alternating hits of cardboard bitterness from a Golden and funk from a pilsner. More Czech than German, I think, because the malt wasn't as sweet as a German pils.

All in all a weird one. To be expected from a company that owns Carlsberg, I guess. I still say pilsner, but honestly, who knows.

Spoetzel Brewery's Shiner Blonde

I've had a couple of these over the years, but largely don't remember much about it so I was glad to see it in the family pack.

It pours a clear, light yellow with a crisp white head and good carbonation. Smells more like a lighter pilsner than a blonde, since it has that slight funk to it. I envision a blonde as a light lager with fairly muted characteristics. Malty, but not distinctive in any serious category. This is closer to a pils.

Yep. Taste is very close to a pilsner. A German maltier one, I think. If not for having read the label, I would have put it in that category in a blind test. Good, crisp, and zippy, it has low bitterness and the pilsner taste that really shouldn't be in any other style. It fades to a malty bitterness when the light and sweet malt fades to what seems more like a grainy bitterness than a hoppy one. It doesn't have the Shiner taste that many of their variants have, which is a good thing.

I like it. But it's a pilsner.

Spoetzel Brewery's Shiner Blonde

I've had a couple of these over the years, but largely don't remember much about it so I was glad to see it in the family pack along with Kosmos Reserve.

It pours a clear, light yellow with a crisp white head and good carbonation. Smells more like a lighter pilsner than a blonde, since it has that slight funk to it. I envision a blonde as a light lager with fairly muted characteristics. Malty, but not distinctive in any serious category. This is closer to a pils.

Yep. Taste is very close to a pilsner. A German maltier one, I think. If not for having read the label, I would have put it in that category in a blind test. Good, crisp, and zippy, it has low bitterness and the pilsner taste that really shouldn't be in any other style. It fades to a malty bitterness when the light and sweet malt fades to what seems more like a grainy bitterness than a hoppy one. It doesn't have the Shiner taste that many of their variants have, which is a good thing.

I like it. But it's a pilsner.

Quilmes

Argentina? We'll see, I guess.

Pours a perfectly clear golden yellow, with a small-ish white head. decent carbonation, but it seems kind of slow. Smells like it'll be a German Pilsner, even though the label is silent on style. Has the funky pils smell, but it's also fairly malty and poured a bit slow and oily, so it's not looking like a more crisp Czech version.

Kind of what I'd expect if Budweiser made a pilsner. It's actually more crisp than I expected, but lighter in the taste than I expected as well. Almost like a Euro Golden, but S. America's brewing traditions are more German and more traditional so I'm sticking with pils. All in all not too bad. I've definitely had worse, but it's fairly bland for the style and has a hint of adjunct grains giving the bitterness a bit of cardboard taste as opposed to hops.

Nothing to look for, but nothing to avoid.

Penn Brewery's Penn Pilsner

It must be Pennsylvania Brewery Day. Although this one has less of an old school look and feel. I'm hoping that's made up by the fact that Pilsner is one of my favorite styles, even if it's the lesser funky German style.

Pours a fast, deep clear yellow with a good light tan head for a pils. Low carbonation for a lager. Smells very sweet and malty even for a German pils. Has more funk the deeper you draw.

Moderate cardboardy bitterness, which is almost always an indicator of weak or adjunct malt grains. Crisp lager feel, but the odd bitterness overpowers the funk that a pils should have.

This one goes way down on the list of pilsners to buy if I see it again. Just off the mark, overly bitter with an underwhelming pils flavor.

Oskar Blues Brewing Company's Mamma's Little Yella Pils

Excellent. A new beer from Oskar Blues, and in one of my favorite styles.

Pours a great clear yellow with a surprisingly large fluffy off-white head for the style. Slowly fades, with good carbonation.

Huh. It's funky like a Czech, but malty like a German. A bit too much hops for the style if you ask me, but it doesn't even come close to being as hoppy as that abomination to God known as Prima Pils. Non-distinct bitterness, a bit cardboardins like a lager can be.

All in all a good beer. Pushes the style on malt and hops, and it's a bit oily feeling even cold whereas most pilsners have to warm up to get that way, but a good beer. Nothing to look for, since I still prefer the lighter-bodies and funkier tastes of Urquell and Chechvar, among others, but good for hikes and to take on the water because of the can.

Atwater Brewery's Atwater Pilsner

As I've mentioned before, Pilsner is easily one of my most favorite styles. And although I prefer the Czech variant, German pilsners are very good too. But a beer from Detroit?

Pours a deep yellow to orange with a huge light tan head for a pils. Good carbonation means that the head stays for quite a while. Based on color and head retention, this one is shaping up to be very close to Scrimshaw Pilsner, which is a good thing.

Like a German pils should, it smells more malty and less skunky than a Czech. Solid light bread is secondary to to the pils funk that is as much bitterness as the skunk's ass smell that a pilsner must have. Basically more subdued than an in-your-face Czech, but that's appropriate for the style.

Reminds me just a tad of some of the Mexican Macro lagers, mostly Carta Blanca. The body is heavier, and this has more of the pils flavor, but its bitterness tastes a bit like wet cardboard. That's mostly as it warms though, so drink this one cold when it's more like Scrimshaw and less like sucking on a box. When cold it's a good beer, and is right in line with what a German pils should be like, but warmer it loses its character and is just indistinctly bitter.

Rogue Ales Morimoto Imperial Pilsner

Imperial Pilsner? Sounds effed up. But pilsner being one of my favorite styles, I had to try it. The fact that it's from Rogue, one of the most solid breweries in the US, makes it even more of a must.

From one of Rogue's imperial series ceramic flip-top bottles, it pours a hazy, unfiltered reddish amber, with a huge cascading light tan head that stays for a long time. Good carbonation.

Smells grassy, with a very subtle sweet maltiness that comes across as a very light bread smell. Grassy. Did I mention grassy? Hugely grassy.

Grassy. I wouldn't describe the initial hit as bitter so much as I would twangy. Tart, not citrus. Hits you with tartness on the top of the tongue, then follows with an excellent bitter aftertaste. Fairly clean finish for such a big beer. Great medium to heavy body. (Burp) Grassy.

I'm a little confused. It has less of the pilsner funk than I thought it should have, but I love this beer. As big and unfiltered as it is, it's still amazingly crisp. The alcohol (more than 9%) is also completely absent, a difficult task in a lighter-style (save for the imperial), but I've had impy stouts that had more of an alcohol bite.

This is probably the only beer in the Rogue XS series that I'll come back to. They're all good, but they're also all expensive, and this is the only one that rates, in my book.

Victory Brewing's Prima Pils

One of my favorite commenters on my favorite beer website recently said "Think, American Brewers, think! Just because you CAN, doesn't mean you SHOULD."

Now, I have no idea what beer he was talking about, if he was talking about any particular beer at all. More than likely the snooty Brit was bemoaning the state of American brewing generally. But if he was going to be talking about a certain beer, I can only imagine it would be Prima Pils.

Now, pilsner is one of my favorite beer styles, period. I love the crisp, clean, and slightly sharp taste of a Czech pilsner like Budvar, Rebel, or Urquell. I also enjoy the slightly more malty German pilsners like Warsteiner Premium Verum, or the American Scrimshaw Pilsner by North Coast Brewery. But even more I love that funky taste that all pilsners should have, the funk that smells and tastes like a skunk's ass. It's not skunky in the usual sense of the word, it just is what it is, and the type requires it.

But Prima Pils has got to be the worst pilsner I have ever had. True to Victory's style it's overly hopped, a cardinal sin for a pils if you ask me. Again, just because you can doesn't mean you should. The other Victory offerings are good. They're hoppy and bitter, with a heavier body than most beers in the types they offer. But hoppy isn't right for every beer, and it's a tragedy for this one. I know lots of hop heads who can't stop raving about it, but I'm convinced now more than ever that their taste buds are either screwed or they think there's only one style of beer, that its main characteristic is hops, and that as long as there's at least twice as much in it than there should be, it's perfect for whatever style it claims to be. Even when it's not.

It is a decidedly sophomoric way to brew and taste beer. And it is simply wrong.

This one pours more of an orangeish yellow than any pils I've seen. Looks like it'll be fuller bodied than others, with a white head that thins to a collar quickly with moderate carbonation.

Smells like a pils on the sweet side--fairly malty, which is appropriate for a German pils, and more floral, which is not. Smell is lighter than I expected from the way it looks. No bitterness. No real crispness to it, like I want in a pils. Not the usual pils funk that it should have either, just that light bready malty sweetness. The absence of the funk makes this beer a loser before I even taste it. A pils should also have a fizzy head that throws off that pilsner smell, and although this is a heavier German pils, it still doesn't come close to having the right look or smell.

Ugh. Odd. Barely has the taste that a pils should have. Too hoppy for a pils. Medicinal band aid taste that you'd expect in a Belgian, but it's way out of place here. I thought it smelled more like a pale than a pils, except that it didn't have any bitterness. Well, the taste is much more like a pale because the bitterness is too strong. As it warms it gains a slight bit of pilsner taste, but it's still too bitter, and a pils is better cold.

Terrible pils, way off type. Might have been a halfway decent pale. Might. What an awful beer.