Boulevard Brewing Company's Collaboration No. 1 Imperial Pilsner

What do you get when you combine an over-ambitious brewery in Kansas City, with an odd and difficult to pull off beer style and a Belgian brew master?

The worst of three worlds.

It pours like a standard pilsner. Doesn't look any maltier, and in no way looks like more of anything. It's a clear yellow and although the carbonation may rise fractionally slower, that's about it. Moderate white head that thins fairly quickly.

Smells like any macro. No trace of the pilsner funk I love in the style.

Tastes the same. Except here's where the Belgian comes in, because it has a residual chemical/plastic taste that many Belgians have, especially the lighter styles like wits. Light bitterness that comes out primarily in the aftertaste when the malt fades. The chemical taste gets worse as the beer gets warmer, and I mean much worse, and it tastes nothing like a pilsner by then.

After reading I Love Beer's post about this beer I decided I had to try it, despite having avoided all of the smokestack beers as over-priced and from a mediocre brewery. So it's him I'm really pissed at about this.

Alright, I guess 'pissed' is a bit strong, but I still think he owes me $10.00. Rogue makes an excellent imperial pilsner, which, like I Love Beer, I believe is an odd imperial to make. But they do it the way it should be. If you have a choice, and you do, buy Rogue's instead. Every time.

Cosmos Brewery Company's Chang Beer

I really need to replace the list of countries I've had beer from, just for kicks. This one's from Thailand, and I'm always curious about beer from places like this. My guess: an adjunct macro that's still better than half of what the BMC folks put out.

Pours a straight-up yellow with a fizzy white head.

Man, smells like a funky pilsner. Not in a bad way, a pils is supposed to have that funk to it, and this smells like a malty one, with a white grape smell to it as well.

You know, I like it. It still has a strong grape flavor to it, but the pils taste is there as well and it's light and crisp. I won't go looking too hard for it again, but it would be a nice regular lawnmower beer.

Kona Brewing Company's Fire Rock Pale Ale

Hawaii. Another state that, like Florida, shouldn't be brewing beer. Except, this is from... New Hampshire? That makes no sense.

Pours an orangish amber with a head that starts decent enough but fades quickly.

Smells right. Hops seem a bit floral, but that's not a great description. Not grassy or piney, they're there but not very distinct. Malt is there in about equal parts too.

Well, it tastes a bit like apples. Not sour green ones, and not sweet red ones. Maybe a tart red one. Not quite a cider taste, but it leans that way a bit. That fades fairly quickly to a clean bitterness, but the warmer it gets the more apple flavor comes out.

Much better than I though a fake-Hawaiian beer would be. Better than anything Florida ever put out, that's for damn sure.

Spring Creek Barbeque

I'm not adding a map entry to this, because you can get this franchise's food just about anywhere. I went to lunch with several others recently, and the consensus (with my dissent) was to go there. So, I decided to hold my nose and try it.

But you know, it wasn't too bad.

The pepper sausage was decent. Not smoked enough, and slightly too porky tasting, it was still alright. The brisket was too fatty, but smoked well enough and also decent. The pork ribs were actually good. They used a sweet rub that is more molasses based than their sauce. They were lean and well-smoked, and came right off the bone. The sauce was a twangy vinegar-based type that is really not good at all. Sides were decent, beans like in a Luby's, large-chopped slaw, and decent enough pinto beans.

All in all, it was better than expected. But nowhere near the places where 80-year-olds man the pits in places that have been around for decades. I mention it here, I don't know, just for completeness, I guess.

Matt Brewing Company's Saranac India Pale Ale

Pours a light amber with a small-celled tan head that stays well with strong carbonation.

The head throws off a slightly grassy smell, and when it subsides the malt peeks through. Slightly sweet, it seems to be right on style.

Body is a little weak, but it's got a nice bitter punch to it that fades cleanly. Not a whole lot to describe about it, it's within type but not sexy. It's on the lighter side of bitter and body, but still clean enough to be drinkable. Pretty good beer, a definite improvement over their other one that I've had.

Sweet Water Brewing Company's Extra Pale Ale

Beer from Georgia? We'll see.

Pours deeper than a standard pale, slightly amber with a light tan head that is thin from the start and only gets thinner.

Very nice smell though. Piney hops that are very solid. It may actually live up to the "extra" billing. As the hops smell dissipates with the head, the sweet malt peeks out a bit.

A bit of a fizzy feel and harsh(ish) aftertaste, but on the front end it has a fairly crisp bitterness and decent enough body.

Not a beer I'll look for too often, but it was a BOTM beer so I'll probably never see it again anyway. I'd keep the others that it came with, but I have about 80 singles that I've never tried before. And that's no shit. So I'll be trying those instead, but this would be good enough if not for the alternatives.

Full Sail Brewing Company's Limited Edition Lager, Recipe No. 1

I'm iffy on Full Sail, but was pleasantly surprised by their Session Lager so I'm hoping this will be a surprise as well.

Pours a bright copper color with a quickly disappearing tan head.

Smells like a winter warmer. Malty, not too hoppy, slightly peppery. And you know, it smells so much like a warmer that I looked it up online just to check. Sure enough, their site says to look for it in the Winter of 2008, but this doesn't look like it was bottled that long ago. Maybe this is the third release of this recipe. Whatever, it smells good so far even if it presents a space-time anomaly.

A little sharper than most warmers, but it's still on type. Moderate bitterness, a bit watery, but the correct slightly spicy flavor that is more pepper than winter spices. Also has the standard aftertaste that fades to a nutty flavor from a slight hops bitterness.

Good beer, although I'll probably be giving most of the rest away. Just not a sexy style compared to the now 85 beers that I have cellared and have never tried before.

Redhook Ales Brewery's ESB

I like ESBs for some reason. They're like pales, without the malt. Good stuff, usually.

This one pours orangish amber with a nice light tan head. Nothing exotic, but just right for the type.

A bit sweeter and maltier than usual in the smell. Like a light, sweet bread. Almost like a dinner roll at Luby's, but with a bitter tweak to it.

Pretty nice. Still maltier than I'd like in an ESB, which makes it more like an amber. Decent bitterness that stays pretty clean, even if it's fairly indistinct.

Drinkable beer, but nothing to really look for in the future.

Full Sail Brewing Company's Session Lager

I ran across this beer as a single in a small beer store off of Richmond, long before it showed up at Spec's, but never got around to trying it. Then, it came in a BOTM shipment, so I figured I'd give it a shot.

First impression--I don't like the Red Stripe type bottles. Except for how they pour. For some reason, they pour extremely smoothly.

Pours clear and light yellow with a crisp white head.

Nice smell. Crisp and malty, a bit of an odd combination. Smells like adjunct grains like a macro, but it's still good. Like a more robust Budweiser.

Light. Low bitterness, light malt. Aftertaste is a bit cardboardish, but not really in a bad way. The light taste isn't watery, it feels like it's supposed to be this way, which is good for a session.

Good beer. Proof that a beer doesn't have to have a huge ABV or be an imperial-something to be worth keeping.

Margaritaville Brewing Company's Landshark Lager

This is the height of my self-loathing. You see, if I can get a single of a beer, I have to buy it. It's like my compulsion to buy stouts, but knowing it'll be bad. I don't know what it is. I hate everything about this beer in advance. An American Macro, that is sure to be more like Corona than Budweiser, which I actually like. Jimmy Buffett sucks ass. And Florida sucks. So I know it's going to suck.

Pours a very clear yellow with a fizzy white head.

You know, it smells like a mils Czech pilsner. No, German. It's sweeter and maltier than a Czech. Surprising.

Yep, there's where it goes downhill--in the taste. Much like a Corona. Kind of a European golden lager--weak and watery. No body, just an adjunct taste with weak bitterness and lame aftertaste.

So, on top of sucking, that bastard Jimmy Buffett teased me with a decent smell. Assface.

Stone Brewing Company's Old Guardian Barleywine,

I personally dislike Stone. All of that "you're not worthy" bullshit is ridiculous. And the gargoyles? Makes them seem like a bunch of emo wimps.

But like stouts, I have to try every barleywine I run across. Plus, after a long day at work, there's nothing like a bomber of 11.1% ABV beer.

Pours a slow, deep copper with a nice tan head that thins to a sheet. Slow carbonation tells me there's a good body in this one.

The head throws off a very grassy and sharp hops smell, which moderates to a sweet bready malt.

Fairly big feel, but a bit watery for a barleywine. Sharp hops with an odd twang. Not the appropriate bitterness that a barleywine should have, but a harsh, sharpness that isn't pleasant.

I can't remember the last bomber I poured out, but I'm wondering whether or not this will be one. It's just not a good barleywine.

Wychwood Brewery's Hobgoblin Dark English Ale

I've seen this in larger bottles but the label art always pushed me away. So I was glad to find a twelve-ouncer that I could put in a mixed sixer. Because I have to try it, but I don't want to buy too much of it, since I'm expecting a flop.

Pours like a brown, with moderate carbonation and a thin tan head. Not bad, really, but I was expecting darker as in toward black.

Smells like sweet bread. Plus a little something that smells like a cross between cloves and allspice.

It has a fizzy soft drink feel, with an odd bitterness that gets very harsh, like cardboard. Moderately hoppy, which fades to the dull bitterness. The odd spice taste is there as well, but duller. In general, it has the body of a macro with the taste, I don't know, of a dark macro. Tastes like lots of adjunct grains.

Glad it's only a single bottle.

Matt Brewing Company's Saranac Black and Tan

Alright, not sure how a black and tan is going to work out of the same bottle, but here goes.

Eh, pours like a stout. I'm actually waiting to see if it separates, and, nope. Red highlights with a nice tan head that thins but sticks.

Smells like a straight up stout. Slightly grainy, slightly roasted, not hoppy.

Yeah, you can definitely taste the lager part of it. It has that Budweiser taste to it, and the stout is definitely watered down.

This one gets a resounding 'meh'.

Sherwood Forest Brewers, Ltd.'s Sheriff's India Pale Ale

Well, the label is gay enough that I never would have tried this one had it not come to me in a beer of the month club. And I already have the other two of these in the "give to friends" side of the cellar.

Plus, it's from Massachusets. Which means it's brewed by massholes.

Pours a hazy amber with a nice tan head that has small cells and sticks well, just like an IPA should.

Smells nice as well. Kind of a floral hops smell that's very clean.

Yep, here's where it goes wrong. Lots of IPAs grab you right on the back of the tongue. This one does too, but too sharply. If you've ever stuck your tongue on a 9V battery, that's a bit how this feels. Not tastes. Feels. Weird weak-ish body as well that doesn't really flow well. More sharp than bitter with a bit of a fizzy soft drink feel.

Well, I gave it a shot. It looked and smelled just fine, but really went downhill from there.